Pine (re)tar(d)

I’d like to chime in on this fucking baseball shit. First, you have the fucking steroids incident (congressional hearings) and then a guy caught cheating in the World Series. Granted, nobody did anything about it but the man who sadly has the same name as a failed chicked restaurant got fucking busted, thanks to the glory of High Definition television.

I never claimed to be a great baseball fan, but I’m officially done with it now. Roger Clemens will pitch into his 70s, with overpowering shit the whole way. Bonds will magically restore his stroke, finally hitting his 1,000th home run in 2017. In 2026 Ty Cobb will be reanimated, only to be deanimated 6 months later because his ‘roid rages caused a brownout in the Northeast (not surprising, a man with a bat around the Niagara Falls Power Station can do some serious fucking damage*).

Face up to it, Rogers – you were fucking busted. Yeah, yeah, I know he washed off the visible shit, but maybe he was still “using” and that’s the part of the game that invalidates the whole sport. For me at least. I’ll stick with Bowling – you know they’re not on any performance enhancers. Unless beer counts.

If my anger-laced remarks aren’t enough to sway you to show how America’s beloved sport is so much like its’ politicians (cheating fuckwads), read this article.

* This is, of course, assuming that there is still water in 2026. Also more and more unlikely as each day passes.