More pine tar, please.
An actual quote from Kenny Rogers:
“Don’t be afraid to give up the good for the great.”
An actual quote from Kenny Rogers (the baseball player, as the above is the musician):
“I rub up the balls between the innings and before the game all of the time,” Rogers said Monday. “I rub up the bullpen balls I pitch with with mud, resin, spit. I do it all the time. They rub the ball up, too, with mud before the games.
“The game balls, they’re dirty. Usually, when I get done, there’s not much on my hand, but I guess a little bit more than normal. I wiped it off and proceeded to pitch seven pretty good innings,” he said. “Mud, resin, sweat. It’s always there. I try not to go crazy with it, but it’s not making my pitches do anything crazy.”
If you just assume that Kenny Rogers is talking about testicles, it’s absolutely hilarious. Read it again.
Pine (re)tar(d)
I’d like to chime in on this fucking baseball shit. First, you have the fucking steroids incident (congressional hearings) and then a guy caught cheating in the World Series. Granted, nobody did anything about it but the man who sadly has the same name as a failed chicked restaurant got fucking busted, thanks to the glory of High Definition television.
I never claimed to be a great baseball fan, but I’m officially done with it now. Roger Clemens will pitch into his 70s, with overpowering shit the whole way. Bonds will magically restore his stroke, finally hitting his 1,000th home run in 2017. In 2026 Ty Cobb will be reanimated, only to be deanimated 6 months later because his ‘roid rages caused a brownout in the Northeast (not surprising, a man with a bat around the Niagara Falls Power Station can do some serious fucking damage*).
Face up to it, Rogers – you were fucking busted. Yeah, yeah, I know he washed off the visible shit, but maybe he was still “using” and that’s the part of the game that invalidates the whole sport. For me at least. I’ll stick with Bowling – you know they’re not on any performance enhancers. Unless beer counts.
If my anger-laced remarks aren’t enough to sway you to show how America’s beloved sport is so much like its’ politicians (cheating fuckwads), read this article.
* This is, of course, assuming that there is still water in 2026. Also more and more unlikely as each day passes.
New music samples at www.dustfarmers.com
My band, the Dust Farmers, have put up a show. Onto our website. Download the tracks. You know you want them.
Here’s a new blog that you should start reading
My friends Kevin and Kelly are in Nicaragua. They are writing a blog. Read it.
It’s like this movie I once saw, called “The Highlander.” Because there can be only one.
Some of my most favorite movie references of all time are in this “The Office” scene. I promise you’ll laugh so hard, you might go blind*.
Also check out the first YouTube movie we posted over at Flying Dog. More to come soon.
*Alternate way to go blind: Eat 64 slices of American cheese.
[edit: the youtube link went bye-bye really quickly. the good news: you can get it on iTunes for only $1.99. GO GET THE MO-FO!]
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